Inner Practice: Intimacy and Love

Some people fall in love faster than they realise. Some people look for love all their lives. Some people reject love without even knowing consciously.

What is love?

Is it the sight of the person making us feel physically attracted to? Is it the craving to be physically intimate with the person who seem so near yet so far? Is it a crush? Is it the desire to be with the person all the time? Is it the ideal person we paint in our minds who can be the superhuman always taking care of us for the rest of our lives?

Often we run ahead of our deep feelings towards someone we think we are fond of. We want everything fast. We want everything now. Sex has become the paracetamol to our burning desires for touch and love. And that’s exactly how physical intimacy has often become misunderstood as the equivalence of love.

Real intimacy is beyond skin deep. Real intimacy occurs on the basis of knowing who you are getting physically close with. To be intimate is not skin-to-skin, it is heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul. If you do not understand and know the person you are physically close to, you are far from him or her, even if he or she is in your arms. If you connect with the person at the heart and soul level, no matter where he or she is, you are always intimate with each other, beyond time and beyond space.

Take time to understand the person’s needs, desires, sufferings and not assume you know what will make them happy.