As human beings, we all want to be happy.

Yet many a times, we find ourselves empty, numb, out of place, don’t belong. We may not even know what we truly want in life anymore. We become experts in unhappiness. We feel even more lost as the days go by.

Why?

We are all creatures of desire. Satisfaction of desire is the main driving force that moves us to do and accomplish things every day. We are internally motivated by such personal gratification coming from inside.

Yet as we are growing up, we are trained and conditioned to move away from this internal motivation towards external motivation. We learned to seek external rewards like approval from people, we learned to avoid punishments like rejection and ostracization from people. We learn to fit in as a way of self-preservation.

But this DOES NOT BRING US TRUE HAPPINESS. Instead we start to develop emptiness and void inside as we deviate from our internal motivation to cater to actions for getting external acceptance. And the journey of self hate begins.

We then seek external things such as money, fame, status, reputation to try to fill this void. And the journey of addictions and coping mechanisms begins.

We find ourselves in jobs that we hate, just because of the reward of the paycheck.

We stay in relationships that are unsatisfying just because we want to avoid the disapproval of others, which we would experience if our relationship failed.

We find ourselves running the rat race only because of a promise of cheese at the end, not because actually running the rat race makes us happy.

It's all a matter of external incentive which pulls us from our true happiness.

The formula for happiness?

Know yourself, who you are, what you desire, what you need. And act in alignment with that.
Listen to your inner voice.
Not what people tell you to.
Focus on what brings you confidence, self approval, self admiration and deep sense of inner peace and pleasure.
Know that people will judge you but who cares?
You are responsible for your happiness, not them.
Appreciate the uniqueness in you.
Because trash is everywhere, gem is rare.