Inner Practice: Things You Should Not Give (Part 1)

Have you ever felt this way before?

Not sad. Not angry.

Just empty.

In your mind, you could be thinking “I have given my whole life. Why do I feel like I have nothing left?”

Because you gave things away that were never meant to be given.

 

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Here let me share with you over the next 2 articles things you should never give to people, even when they beg, even when we love them deeply, even when it feels like the right thing to do. This is not about being cold. This is not about being selfish. This is a teaching about being wise.

Let us talk about generosity. A generous heart is a doorway to liberation. Giving is a profound spiritual practice. But there is also a saying “A fool gives what should not be given”. Generosity without wisdom is not virtue. It is confusion wearing the mask of virtue.

The first thing you must never give away is your inner peace.

Loving kindness and equanimity is a kind of serene peace. These are not states of coldness or distance. They are states of stability. Stability is something you cannot give to another person. You can only offer it – by being stable yourself.

 

Think about this honestly – in your daily life, how many times does someone – a child, a grandchild, a friend, a sibling – come to you and knowingly or unknowingly reach into your chest and pull out your peace? A phone call that leaves you anxious for hours. A family gathering that sends your mind spinning with worry long after everyone has gone home. A conversation where you absorb someone else’s anger, fear or grief and then carry it alone in the silence of your own room.

This is what I call giving your peace away.

This happens because you have not learned the difference between offering presence and surrendering stability.

You can be present for your loved ones – fully, warmly, lovingly present – without giving away the ground you stand on. If you lose yourself, you have nothing left to offer anyone.

So the practice is simple but not easy: when someone asks you for your time, your emotional energy, your mental space – and you feel that familiar pull of obligation – pause. Breathe. Ask yourself: “Can I give this without losing my footing?”. If yes, give freely, with joy. If no, give lovingly from a boundary. You are allowed to say, “I love you. And I need this time.”

That is not rejection.

That is wisdom.

That is in fact, one of the kindest things you can say.

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Basics of TCM, TCM(Traditional Chin Med), Inner Practice, Being HumanXiang Jun LimDr (TCM) Xiang Junacupuncture, healing, tcm, inner practice, wisdom, generosity, inner peace