Inner Practice: A Letter from a Father to His Son
This is a letter from a Tibetan father to his son. I decided to translate and quote him fully without any editing. Because his words are so powerful and impactful. Not just to his son, but to everyone who gets to read it.
My dear son,
Today I am forty,
and you are only
two years and five months old.
You are too young
to understand these words now.
But perhaps one day,
many years from now,
when you have your own life,
your own dreams,
your own joys
and your own wounds,
you will find this letter again.
And when you do,
I hope you will not only read
the words of your father.
I hope you will feel
how deeply I loved you,
and how much I wished
for you to live this life
freely,
clearly,
and truly.
For more than twenty years,
I have been running.
Chasing achievement.
Recognition.
Success.
More.
Building.
Owning.
Becoming.
Proving.
I once believed
that the more I had,
the more complete
my life would become.
At forty,
I finally understand:
More
does not always mean abundance.
Sometimes,
the more we possess,
the more we fear losing.
And the more we fear losing,
the less free
we become.
Sometimes, my son,
less is more.
Less desire.
Less chasing.
Less proving.
And in that space,
you may discover something greater:
Freedom.
Silence.
Peace.
There are some things
I cannot teach you.
Because true wisdom
cannot simply be given.
It must be lived.
So go, my son.
Dream.
Try.
Travel.
Love.
Fail.
Begin again.
Do not become so afraid
of making mistakes
that you become afraid
to live.
But remember one thing:
Never build your happiness
on someone else’s pain.
Work hard,
but never trade
your inner peace
for success.
Dream boldly,
but do not become
a prisoner of your dreams.
Have the courage to gain,
but an even greater courage
to let go.
And if one day
the things you own
begin to own you,
walk away.
Do not spend your life
trying to prove
that you are important.
You do not need to prove yourself.
Do not mistake applause
for love.
Do not mistake wealth
for security.
Do not mistake busyness
for meaning.
And just because
many people know your name,
do not assume
that you know yourself.
Looking back now,
so many things
I once chased desperately
feel like a dream.
A name.
Reputation.
Status.
Success.
They once seemed
so important.
Now I understand:
Life is not about
becoming a great man.
It is about
becoming a real one.
I do not know
who you will become.
I do not know
where you will go,
whom you will love,
what work you will do,
or which road
you will choose.
And I do not want
to choose it for you.
Your life
belongs to you.
I ask only this:
Live freely.
Live awake.
If one day
you have everything
the world calls success,
but you have lost
your inner peace,
have the courage
to let something go.
If one day
the whole world
is applauding you,
but you can no longer
hear your own heart,
leave the crowd
for a while.
And if one day
you feel poor
because someone else
has more,
remember:
True wealth
is not having the most.
It is having enough
and still being at peace.
Today,
you still run toward me
on your tiny feet.
You know nothing
of what I have achieved.
Nothing of my position.
Nothing of what I built,
what I owned,
where I succeeded,
or where I failed.
You know only one thing:
I am your father.
And perhaps you do not know
what you have taught me.
Because of you,
I slowly discovered
one of the deepest truths
of my life:
Love does not need achievement.
Love does not need proof.
Love needs presence.
One day,
I may no longer
be beside you.
And perhaps you will read
these words alone.
If that day comes,
remember this:
I never wanted you
to be greater
than anyone else.
I only hoped
you would become—
Kind.
Awake.
Courageous.
Compassionate.
Free.
Live deeply, my son.
Love deeply.
Experience bravely.
Try not to harm
another living being.
And while you are
chasing the world,
please—
do not lose yourself.
One day,
when you too reach
the middle of your life,
when you look back
at all the roads you walked,
all the people you loved,
all that you gained
and all that you lost,
I hope you can smile
and quietly say:
I was not merely alive.
I truly lived.
Forever loving you,
Dad
Chogyal R.
Written when I was forty,
and you were
two years and five months old.
Further Reading:
Things you Should Not Give (Part 2)
Things you Should Not Give (Part 1)
Being Single and Childless is not a Tragedy
Sign Before Major Life Breakthrough
You Do Not Want Love, Actually
If You are Having a Hard Time Now
If You Are Having a Hard Time Now
Spirituality is Physics, Acupuncture is Science
Everything you need to know about Acupuncture
Holistic Treatments for High Functioning Anxiety
The Grass is Not Always Greener on the Other Side
Everything you need to know about Acupuncture
Testimonial for Sleep Improvement
Facial Acupuncture - How to differentiate the real deal from the fakers
